please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
