Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
