My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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