Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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