i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
