Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
