Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
