i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
