you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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