My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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