so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
