Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
