Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude i'm inner monologue high
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
