i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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