My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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