i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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