Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
