Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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