I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
