Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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