when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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