Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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