if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's blow job season.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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