I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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