Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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