After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
