ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize