Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize