My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
