omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
