Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this beer tastes like vomit already
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
