Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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