tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
