So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
