Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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