GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
