All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
