Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
tell me about the eggs
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