Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
