Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
