u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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