I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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