Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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