john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my poor anus
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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