I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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