yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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