i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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