So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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