Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
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barbara walters just said penis...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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