My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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