And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
