my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
