Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
