If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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