I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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