i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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