The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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