so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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