Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
