Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
