i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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