Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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